Poems to Save Lives
by JYu.Lee
Summary: "He saw red, but that could have very well been the blood dripping down the glass." 1x09 -Anslo Garrick-


**So how was that episode last night, huh?! James Spader was BADASS. haha! I'm jumping up and down for next week's episode. **

**Well this short story is just basically Red's reaction/thoughts during Luli's death because, my dear lord, it was torture to watch. I haven't written in about a year, so bear with me ^**^

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Ressler's screams rang throughout the glass box like a banshee's. Red winced as he cut open the wound further; he knew it had to be done. But there was no morphine, no painkillers in the stash he had hastily grabbed.

_Almost done, Ressler, hang on._

But a second later, the agents' arm dropped and the man was silent.

A centimeter more and the wound was open enough for him to start. He hastily shook his hands of the dripping blood and got to work. He opened the bullet and poured half of the gunpowder onto the needed place. Then, he grabbed the match that was sitting by Ressler's leg and moved the chair away from him out of frustration. Before he could have second thoughts, he found his hand lighting the match and moving towards the leg. There was a quick burst and Red instinctively jumped back. He stared at the smoking wound with an amused expression once he got a glimpse of the finished work.

_Huh, that actually worked._

His personal victory was cut short, however, when there was a thump on the glass door behind him. He spun around. All rational thoughts flung out of his head as he saw Anslo holding the gun to Luli's head. Her eyes swam in panic and fear, parallel to his.

"Ten seconds, Red," Anslo said, staring right into Red's eyes as if he was about to come to some victory. He could very well be right.

"Wait—" Red moved forward as far as the glass would allow him. He so wanted to grab Luli and pull her away, to do something, anything, but he knew this damned box wouldn't allow him to do much.

"Ten." Anslo started counting. "Nine."

"Harold!" Red looked at the assistant director who he would have laughed at for being caught up in a situation like this if he wasn't in need of his actual assistance. "Open the box! Now. Give him the code!"

Luli was forced to kneel. There were tears descending on her cheeks, the cheeks Red had caressed the very night before.

"No," Cooper replied with an apologetic glance.

Red looked once more at Cooper's face before growling in frustration. The man wasn't going to open this door to save one life. So he turned back to Anglo who had gotten down to seven. "Anglo, my people can't help you." _Get your hands off her_. "Cooper can get you in here. Put that gun to his head."

He was down to five.

Anglo laid the gun behind Luli's head as he counted to three and Red panicked. "For once in your life, stop and think about—"

_Ka-Boom._

The gunshot roared in Red's ear and he found himself staring through a glass splattered with blood. His mouth stood agape as he saw Luli's motionless body lie on the ground. Red found he couldn't move. This couldn't be happening, shouldn't be happening. The moments of their times together found themselves surging through his mind and the numbness nearly overtook him. He couldn't look away. He loved the way she used to bring him tea when he woke up from a nightmare, and the way she smelled, and the way she smiled, and the way she talked. His mind went numb as his eyes were transfixed on the beautiful body regretfully covered in blood.

The silence in the room was defining.

Breath by breath, he felt the familiar sense of rage set in. Red glared up at Anslo, whose smug smile just added to the fury that Red was feeling. Anslo's chin was held high and eyes glistening with pride. He saw red, but that could have very well been the blood dripping down the glass. It took everything in his power to not lose control.

_The best thing to do when you feel like losing control is to be occupied. So be occupied in saving Ressler's ass, _Reddington said to himself in his head.

His hands flung the tie covering the agent's mouth out of the way with more force than necessary. He hated the way his hands shook, the way his own power wasn't enough, the way he failed once again, and the way these thoughts were jumbling inside of his head, refusing to give him any sort of worthy result. Red shook his gaze from Ressler.


End file.
